Typical, our great hope for the Australian Grand Prix zooms in to win, and then the whole day becomes a massive downer, thanks to a load of middle-aged clowns spoiling everyone’s head-rush.Gene Simmons - he who has reportedly made the world’s most limp and monotonous sex tape - and his grown-up mates are still putting on face paints and doing that horrible tongue thing in front of crowds of (presumably) weeping children - even though they have over a thousand years between them!

“Why are the fat men scaring me, Mummy?” sob the kids.

As post-tournament entertainment goes, is this an all-time low? Or have people still got a problem with the whole Janet Jackson’s bosom thing? Leave your comments.