There can be only one

This is one of the most stupid things we have ever seen - and we’ve seen some stupid things in our time. What, did the driver suddenly forget that he was at the wheel of a huge articulated truck? “Gosh, and I thought I took the SmartCar today…”

FAIL, in a big ole’ way.

McLaren to stick with current driver line-up next season

Good news for fans of Heikki Kovalainen: the popular Finn will stay at McLaren in 2009, the team revealed at the Hungaroring today.

His contract was for one guaranteed year (2008), but with an option for McLaren to renew.

“We welcomed Heikki on board at the start of the year. He is under contract and will race for us in the 2009 season,” McLaren chief executive Martin Whitmarsh confirmed.

British Touring Cars grid girl fronts up at Brands Hatch

In which BTCC driver Mat Jackson’s grid girl only just manages to fit her top over… well the picture says it all really.

Another eye-popping pic below:

Schumi involved in pedestrian crash in Kent

Michael Schumacher has had another motoring mishap, this time at the wheel of a Fiat Ducato van. He reportedly clipped a car dealer’s leg as he drove through the town of Lydd on Sunday afternoon (he was on his way to an airfield to catch a private jet). Martin Kingham, the unlucky dealer, described the incident as follows: “Out of nowhere I heard a bang from behind me. It spun me round and I was thrown forward on to my face, hitting the bonnet of a parked van. Then I saw a big blue van go by and realised they’d hit me. I thought I recognised the driver, but my head was spinning.”

Schumi reacted with typical contrition and good manners: he screamed “What the fucking hell were you doing in the road!” at Kingham and then refused to apologise. We couldn’t make it up.

Flavio Briatore’s girl reveals assets

Flavio’s new wife, Wonderbra model Elisabetta Gregoraci, showed that she’s settling down by taking off most of her clothes for Interviu, an Italian lads’ mag. It’s not the first time her clothes have fallen off in front of a camera, and it surely won’t be the last.

Click below to see a couple of pics from the spread:

F**k you, planet Earth

The Sun goes over the top today with news that a wealthy Arab flew his Lambo Murcielago LP640 (as driven by Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight) 6,500 miles from Qatar to London and back, for a routine service.

The eco-unfriendly round trip, on a Qatar Airways jumbo jet, “sparked fury from green campaigners”. Jenny Evans, of pressure group Plane Stupid, said: “This horrifies me. It is another example of how rich people exploit and pollute the planet because of their money.”

A Sun sub-editor trying desperately to think of something bigger than a footprint Heathrow worker reportedly said: “This car doesn’t have a carbon footprint – more of a crater.”

Boom boom.

Wantaway Renault star preparing for move to Ferrari?

Nando Alonso has denied he is house-hunting in the Swiss town of Lugano, near to the Italian border - more specifically, it’s near Maranello, the home of Ferrari. Lugano is less than 200 miles from Maranello, compared with Alonso’s current home in Mont-sur-Rolle, Switzerland, which is nearly twice that distance to Scuderia’s HQ. Hmm, interesting…

Australian actress caught up in Transformers star’s crash

You may already have read about Shia LaBeouf’s alleged drink-driving incident, which saw the actor flip his Ford F-150 truck after allegedly (yeah, we have to use the word “alleged” a lot, just to be safe) making a left turn and then being hit by another car.

The authorities are now saying that LaBeouf was not at fault, and that the other driver involved in the prang ran a red light. Still, the star of Transformers and the recent Indiana Jones sequel, was charged with DUI (driving under the influence), so he’s not blameless in this.

Reports say that LaBeouf badly injured his hand in the crash, and required extensive surgery to patch it up. More interesting is the news that Shia’s female passenger was Isabel Lucas (pictured above), currently shooting Transformers 2 with LaBeouf. The not-unpretty Aussie actress suffered minor injuries in the accident.

More pics of Isabel after the jump, and a bonus video (’cause that’s what this post is all about)…