Our favourite intros to TV’s No.1 mystery driver

1. “Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar…”

2. “Some say 61 years ago he accidently introduced Her Majesty, the Queen, to a Greek racialist…”

3. “Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he’s scared of bells…”

4. “Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground…”

5. “Some say he appears on high-value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue…”

6. “Some say that the outline of
his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring, and that
if you give him a really important job to do, he’ll skive off and play
croquet…”

7. “Some say that he once threw a
microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised
that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs…”

8. “Some say he gets terrible ezcema on his helmet…”

9. “Some say if he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he’d keep his stupid whining mouth shut…”

10. “Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for a thousand days…”

Who is The Stig?