Cuddly Nascar star accuses reporters of being on made-up drugs

Big-boned Tony Stewart showed off his knowledge of drugs during a press conference to announce Ryan Newman as a co-driver in his new Stewart-Haas team, which will debut in Nascar next season.

When Nascar reporter Bob Pockrass (made-up name alert) asked Newman a complicated question about his contract, Stewart stepped in to reply:

“What kind of crack are you on? You must be smoking pot grass.”

Pot grass, eh. Is that what the kids are smoking these days? Is pot grass even a kind of crack? Or a herb for cooking? Tony Stewart has none of these answers.