The lowdown: Danica Patrick wasn’t happy because slow-ass Duno blocked her in morning practice for last weekend’s Honda Indy 200 (won on Sunday by Ryan Briscoe, for the record - but who gives one about that, really).
Danica, being a feisty little thing, confronts Duno. Duno is from Venezuela (capital city: Feisty). Sparks - and towels - fly. Luckily, a camera was there to capture the catfight.
We aren’t cynical souls, but wouldn’t a bitter Patrick vs Duno rivalry be great for IndyCar ratings? Shame Duno is so damn slow.
In case you didn’t get the connection between Nashville and country music, the winner of the Firestone Indy 200 at the Nashville Superspeedway is presented with a customised guitar. This year, the lucky recipient was New Zealander Scott Dixon, who extended his lead at the top of the IndyCar championship table to a whopping 63 points.
Even Billy Ray Cyrus wouldn’t be seed dead playing that thing.
“Artistic IndyCar dude” laughs at Brit’s new teeth
If you’re a regular visitor to Grid Crasher, you will be aware that we are fascinated by Dan Wheldon’s amazing teeth. The Nicey lookalike used to have crap British teeth, but now he’s living in the States, he paid for an awe-inspiring set of new gnashers.
In this clip, Dan speaks to a few IndyCar employees about the forthcoming wedding of Chip Ganassi team-mate Scott Dixon, and ends up getting some stick for his unfeasibly large teeth. Quite right too.
IndyCar pace setter wins third race of season, in Texas
Scott Dixon, winner of this year’s Indy 500, stretched his lead in the IndyCar championship with a split-second victory over Helio Castroneves at the Texas Speedway last weekend.
The picture is deceiving, as both cars were cruising at around 90mph when they crossed the start/finish line - a late crash involving Marco Andretti and Ryan Hunter-Reay meant that the race ended under waved yellow flags; so Castroneves was not allowed to overtake Dixon.
Many disgruntled fans were seen leaving the Texas track even before Dixon took the chequered flag. This is a big problem for IndyCar; the series should not allow its races to finish under a yellow flag - it’s the second time in a week that a late crash has forced an IndyCar race to end like that. Ryan Briscoe won in Milwaukee under the same conditions; on that occasion Dixon was the frustrated driver stuck in second place.
News has reached us that Formula 1 could soon follow the lead of IndyCar and run its cars on ethanol, rather than stinky, polluting petrol. Former world champion Emerson Fittipaldi, who is building a sugar cane refinery (ethanol is created from the fermentation of sugar cane) in his native Brazil, revealed that Wee Bernie Ecclestone has been looking into a potential fuel switch:
“Bernie last year contacted the No. 1 group for ethanol in Brazil… I’m sure a lot of other (racing) categories in the world are going to follow Indianapolis.”
British IndyCar star escapes injury after his car flips
Here’s our very own Dan Wheldon, being helped away from his wrecked car, after a scary-looking crash during a practice session for last weekend’s IndyCar event at the Texas Motor Speedway. The Englishman’s car veered off line, hit the outside wall, and then flipped over on the infield grass. He escaped serious injury, and went on to finish fourth in the race, which was won by Dan’s team-mate, Scott Dixon. It was Wheldon’s fourth top-five finish in the past five races.
Brazilian driver Vitor Meira took to the skies during Sunday’s IndyCar race at Milwaukee. Meira ploughed into the stricken car of Marco Andretti, and took flight. Meira said of the spectacular last-lap incident:
“Getting airborne wasn’t that bad. It’s landing that causes all the problems.”
Wise words Vitor.
Watch footage of the maiden flight, right this way…
Here at Grid Crasher’s luxury motorhome, we’re becoming obsessed with Dan Wheldon’s amazing teeth. They really are the eighth wonder of the world.
During the Indy 500’s pre-race driver parade, Dan was snapped flashing his giant ivories again; the awesome combination of teeth, hair, and sunglasses put us in mind of Harry Enfield character DJ Dave “Nicey” Nice (partner to Paul Whitehouse’s Mike “Smashie” Smash).
If you were as absorbed as us in Sunday’s Monaco GP, then you might have missed the result of some smallsville hick race in Indianapolis on the same weekend.
Scott Dixon, pictured above with his huge winner’s trophy (looks a bit like an upside-down Dalek, no?), took the chequered flag, thereby making good on his pole position, which he secured more than one week ago - being Yanks, they stretch out the race weekend to almost one month.
British IndyCar star has American ivories, and then some
Here’s Dan Wheldon (left), celebrating with team-mate Scott Dixon after the latter secured pole position for this Sunday’s Indy 500.
Wheldon was born in Sutton Coldfield. How many people from Sutton Coldfield do you know with teeth like that? They’re fricking ridiculous, at least two sizes too big for his head; they look more like dentures than real teeth. His dentist must like practical jokes. Dixon, a New Zealander, has a fine set of teeth too, but he can’t compete with the scary white tombstones jumping out of Wheldon’s mouth.
