Commercial airline lovin’ hip hop mogul brushes with the law
We at Grid Crasher believe those who play music at ridiculously high volume while driving around with the windows down are the heroes of society. Much like the kids who sit at the back of buses with tinny pop blaring out of their mobiles, we should feel blessed that these good citizens are willing to impart their superior taste in music on us all, asking for so little in return.
The police in America, however, clearly don’t feel that the generous folks with unnecessarily powerful car stereos should provide free entertainment for the streets, as commercial airline fan P Diddy found out this week. He was fined a hefty 60 dollars for blasting choons from his Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, a vehicle whose exposed cabin makes it very easy for sound to pass in and out.
Astonishingly, the policeman failed to caution him for his ridiculous name changes or for watering down commercial hip hop and paving the way for generic dirge like 50 Cent.
Those crazy Germans! Or, to be more specific, those crazy German stuntmen!
Watch in shock and awe as this intrepid deathwisher hangs on to the back of a motorbike and then slingshots down the road, reaching speeds in excess of 60mph. After seeing this clip, German police have added the perp to their wanted list. Reports that Wily Coyote was also seen in the area at the time, chasing furiously in an Acme van, remain unfounded.
Yeah, we wish them good luck with the whole “catching anonymous man in crash helmet” thing.
Mad props to the inebriated racing fan who managed to get himself arrested twice during the same Nascar event, at Pocono on Sunday. The Citizens Voice takes up the story:
“Donald Swisher Jr., 28, was first arrested for summary charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after an argument with his wife in their Victory Circle seats, police said.
“Police said officers arrested Swisher a second time around 5 p.m. on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after receiving a call he was being disorderly again.”
An Australian man filmed himself speeding at more than 100mph while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard. Brendon Erhardt’s Holden SV6 was allegedly loaded with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, and a couple of drug pipes.
Police also found a loaded .22 rifle in the car. Erhardt told police he had used the rifle to shoot “kangaroos from the vehicle whilst driving north”. As you do.
The accused was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend before he goes to jail.
Mixed martial arts knucklehead lives up to nickname
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, a former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) world champion, was arrested at gunpoint following an alleged hit-and-run incident in California. Wacko Jacko reportedly collided with a couple of cars and did a runner, having another collision before he was pulled over in Newport Beach area of Costa Mesa.
The best part of this is that Jackson, 30, was driving perhaps the least subtle getaway car in history: a sponsored pick-up truck notable for the huge picture of Rampage Jackson himself emblazoned on the side. The Monster Truck-style wheels added to the cunning disguise. Maybe he’s been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto recently.
Lesson learned: you can’t trust a man nicknamed “Rampage”.
